Posted by: silverstar98121 | August 4, 2009

Fun Medical Testing

No, it’s not really. A couple times in the last year, I’ve managed to swallow wrong and get something lodged in my right bronchus. It hurts like hell, makes you cough and puke, and should never happen. It is also potentially life-threatening if you can’t cough and puke it up. I’ve been lucky so far, especially since I live alone, and haven’t taught Friday to dial 911 yet. Well, actually you need a special phone for that. A very expensive special phone.

This being the case, the last time I was at the doctor, I mentioned it to her. And she referred me to the Otolaryngology department at the University. My appointment was today. I figured they’d just talk to me, and then if they thought I needed it, would order some tests. Wrong.

They decided to stick a camera up my nose and watch me swallow. This is not fun. First they numb your nose with some stuff that tastes horrible when you sniff it back. Then they stick the camera, which is about the size of thick spaghetti in your nose. Then the speech pathologist makes you do a lot of things like say eeeeeeee, and other things. Then they give you some water with blue dye in it, and watch while you swallow that. Then some bread with blue dye on it, and make you swallow that while they watch. And of course the camera is tickling your uvula, and making you want to gag the whole time. Lovely stuff.

So you walk out of the office with your mouth all blue, and your tongue all blue. But they forget to tell you it will turn your poop all blue, too.  So now I’m going to be scheduled for an xray where I will swallow yucky, chalky stuff, and they will do probably a lot of the same exercises while they watch me swallow different textures of stuff. I can hardly wait. I hope they put some flavoring in it.

As if that isn’t bad enough, I’m scheduled for a routine colonoscopy on Friday, too. Not looking forward to the gallon of  guck. I should have asked them to send a nasogastric tube with it, because I think that may be the only way I’ll get it down without puking about half of it back up. I hope whoever invented that stuff has to take a gallon of it every day in hell. I’ll be busy on Thursday, don’t expect to hear from me.

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Responses

  1. on the bright side? that prescribed colon blow should take care of the blue poo… good luck. sounds pretty hateful…

  2. Uff, I hear ya about that colonoscopy prep gack. I was advised to mix it with very cold water and then suck it up through a straw. And that did help. I also mixed it with about 1/3 glass orange flavoured Gatorade and the rest water. It was more the quantity that the gack itself that made it difficult – an 8 oz glass every fifteen minutes for four hours. CT scan gack is way worse.

    But I would much rather drink anything than have an NG tube experience again. I had one put in before my first op – by the third day I was in tears, begging them to take it out. *shudder*

    Anyhow, good luck on Friday. And make sure you’ve got lots of toilet paper!

  3. And on the lighter side, have you seen this?

  4. The testing does suck. But, in the right quantity and at the right time, it can save us some pain and discomfort, I guess.

    I inherited what my eldest daughter calls a “trick epiglottis” from my dad (and she inherited from me). Basically, the thing can sometimes go in the wrong direction, like say when you are drinking something and it thinks you’re breathing. In. Much coughing and hacking ensues. Not. Fun. So I have a bit of an inkling, I suppose, into this particular misery.

    Love the film clip posted by Az. In fact, I’m using it in a post on my blog. You both should see link backs.

    Good luck with all the testing. Here’s hoping the results call for little to no further medical intervention.

    Cheers!
    Rob

  5. […] Tip o’ the hat to azahar for this clip.  She posted it on silverstar’s blog. […]

  6. sounds pretty awful, but it’s all for making you feel better. hope they take care and get you healed.

    and that blue poop would be a great party trick. not that you’d want to at all (ewww), but a cool trick nonetheless!

    yeah, i’m weird.

  7. Testing. Yuck. Best wishes.

  8. Oy. I hope they figure out what the problem is after all the hell they are putting you through. I can’t even imagine the ng tube, your description made me want to never experience it. I did have a colonoscopy and the prep was — well, let me say that as far as I am concerned you are absolutely right, the inventor should have to drink a gallon of it every day in hell.

  9. I hadn’t heard of that before..I am sorry that you have had that happen. I haven’t had the thing up the nose, but have had all the GI tests and the lovely colonoscopy….I hope everything goes well….Maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words now that I look at it. Hang in there Eileen….

  10. […] most obnoxious of the medical testing is over.  So far, nothing dire has been found, just stuff that when you look it up online, under […]

  11. no photos of your blue tongue?


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