Posted by: silverstar98121 | February 2, 2009

My Dad is Dying

I guess my dad called my sister early this morning, and said he didn’t feel well. She went over there, and found he was in rough shape, with fever, coughing, and having a hard time breathing. This is just a worsening of what’s been going on. He refused to go to the hospital, and they called hospice for him. They don’t think he will make it through the night.

This is reminiscent of the way his mother died thirty years ago. Just getting worse and worse, then one day saying “Put me to bed.” She kept asking for something, which we couldn’t understand. We think she had a stroke. We put her to bed, called the priest to give her last rites, and an hour later she was dead. Later on we figured out she had been asking for a priest.

I’m very sad that I’m not there, but I’m told I wouldn’t want to see him this way. And I probably wouldn’t. I’ve been discouraged from changing my plane reservation, and since he will be cremated, we will probably have the memorial service then. Which will mean he will be buried the same weekend that my mom was, on Valentine’s Day.

The Boyo stayed over last night, and he is with me now. I’m having a hard time with not seeing my dad again. I sat with two grandparents as they were dying, so maybe they figure I’ve done my part. I’ve been asked to make a slideshow of my dad’s life for the memorial service, so I guess I will be doing that for the next ten days.

And the worst part is that when he dies, I will be the oldest in the whole famn damily. And I hate that.


  1. i’m so sorry for your pain, silverstar. hopefully his passing will be peaceful.

    when my brother recently passed, i was struck by the fact that MY generation was starting to leave this world. very sobering.

    hugs – – (((((silverstar)))))

  2. ouch. even when we think we’re ready, we’re not. losing a parent is the part of growing up that sucks no matter how old we are… put your energy into the memorial slide show — a gift for your father, and your entire family.

  3. I’m so sorry. This must be so hard.

  4. I’m sorry, too; most particularly that you can’t be there. Hugs…

  5. like everyone else, I’m really sorry about this new pain that has come into your life. I imagine there will be plenty of tears while making the slide show too


  6. Thank you all for your empathy. I haven’t heard any more from back east. But they wouldn’t necessarily call me in the middle of the night. The Boyo has stayed with me, and made cookies, apparently his way of comforting me. And I’m grateful for it all.

  7. My thoughts are with you Eileen. Hugs.

  8. I’ve been worried about you. Just thought I’d stop by and send you some more hugs.

  9. I’m so sorry. It’s hard to be there and hard not to be. Take care of yourself.

  10. I’m sorry to hear that, is there any way you can get more updates? Sounds like the communication could be improved a little, maybe that would help you feel more like you’re there.

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