If Bill Maher can do it, so can I.
- New Rule: You can call me spunky, but you can’t call me inspiring. I strive for spunky. And funny.
- New Rule: If I tell you I don’t want/need your help, I don’t want/need your help. If I drop the leash, Friday will pick it up. After I remind her of her union contract. And she’s not going to run away. She hasn’t been more than 5′ away from me for years.
- New Rule: Scooters need air horns. Just little ones like kayakers use. To move the idiots standing in the curb ramp debating where they are going for coffee past the time the light changes. (Actually, my dad hooked up a klaxon horn to the battery in his wheelchair. Maybe I need one of those. )
- New rules: All the disabled must be employed before you can outsource jobs to foreign countries. Especially when they are jobs the disabled can do, like work in call center.
- New Rule: No taxation without representation. If our elected “representatives” are going to cave to business all the time, then business can pay all the taxes to maintain the country.
- New Rule: The US presidential election process can take no more than 180 days. Here’s how it goes:
- Nobody can declare before May 1 of the election year.
- They campaign until the Fourth of July, at which time we celebrate our freedom by voting in the primary. As well as barbecuing, getting drunk, and watching fireworks.
- The top winner in each party gets the presidential nod, #2 gets the veep nod.
- They campaign until the first part of November, at which time we vote on a weekend, fools. We are no longer an agrarian society that goes to market on Tuesday.
Kindly comply with these new rules. Thank you.