Posted by: silverstar98121 | July 10, 2008

New Rules

If Bill Maher can do it, so can I.

  1. New Rule: You can call me spunky, but you can’t call me inspiring. I strive for spunky. And funny.
  2. New Rule: If I tell you I don’t want/need your help, I don’t want/need your help. If I drop the leash, Friday will pick it up. After I remind her of her union contract. And she’s not going to run away. She hasn’t been more than 5′ away from me for years.
  3. New Rule: Scooters need air horns. Just little ones like kayakers use. To move the idiots standing in the curb ramp debating where they are going for coffee past the time the light changes. (Actually, my dad hooked up a klaxon horn to the battery in his wheelchair. Maybe I need one of those. )
  4. New rules: All the disabled must be employed before you can outsource jobs to foreign countries. Especially when they are jobs the disabled can do, like work in call center.
  5. New Rule: No taxation without representation. If our elected “representatives” are going to cave to business all the time, then business can pay all the taxes to maintain the country.
  6. New Rule: The US presidential election process can take no more than 180 days. Here’s how it goes:
  • Nobody can declare before May 1 of the election year.
  • They campaign until the Fourth of July, at which time we celebrate our freedom by voting in the primary. As well as barbecuing, getting drunk, and watching fireworks.
  • The top winner in each party gets the presidential nod, #2 gets the veep nod.
  • They campaign until the first part of November, at which time we vote on a weekend, fools. We are no longer an agrarian society that goes to market on Tuesday.

Kindly comply with these new rules. Thank you.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. hear hear 🙂

  2. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Way to go Spunky.

  3. Thank you, Nurse Myra.

    Rob, reminds me of the line in the Simon and Garfunkel song that goes, “I can call you Betty, and you can call me Al. Call me Al.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: